Bulimia Nervosa and it’s Mark on a Teen's Life
Learn what it's like to suffer from Bulimia Nervosa from the perspective of a teen girl.
Dhriti Kapadam
8/1/20266 min read
Bulimia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by consuming large amounts of food, experiencing intense guilt or regret afterward, and attempting to "make up" for the calories consumed through vomiting, excessive exercise, fasting, or the use of laxatives. This disorder is extremely dangerous because of the stress it places on the body, especially when compensatory behaviors involve purging.
Bulimia nervosa can cause menstrual cycles to stop or become irregular. These disruptions, known as amenorrhea or oligomenorrhea, are often linked to low levels of leptin in the body. The purging aspect of this disorder also poses many serious health risks due to its repetitive and destructive nature. Common complications include gastrointestinal (GI) tract abnormalities, heart problems, tooth erosion, and throat injuries (Rushing, Jones, Carney).
Although there are many factors that can contribute to bulimia nervosa, one of the most common is body image dissatisfaction (NEDA). To better understand the experiences of someone living with this disorder, we interviewed a teenage girl in California who struggled with body image issues and later developed bulimia nervosa. Through her story, we learned about her experience during her illness, as well as the motivations and strategies that supported her recovery.
Interview Transcription
Dhriti: Bulimia nervosa is a type of eating disorder characterized by eating large amounts of food at one time and then trying to get rid of the food or weight gain by throwing up, taking laxatives, fasting, or exercising a lot more than normal. Today we explore what this eating disorder was like for a high school student in California and its effect on her physical, mental, and social life.
Dhriti: So how old are you, and what grade are you in currently?
Teen: I'm sixteen, and I'm getting into junior year.
Dhriti: And how old were you when your disordered eating pattern started?
Teen: I think fourteen.
Dhriti: Okay. And if you were ever officially diagnosed, what were you diagnosed with?
Teen: I wasn't officially diagnosed.
Dhriti: What did you think you had?
Teen: Bulimia nervosa? Is that what it's called? Yeah, bulimia.
Dhriti: Okay. And why do you think it started? Do you know if it had to do with body image or if there were other factors?
Teen: Definitely body image, I think. I think because at that age, that's the biggest I ever was. It just felt new, and I just didn't know how to stop it. So that's kind of what I just did.
Dhriti: Okay. And what were some surprising things that you experienced while you had your eating disorder? Did you experience any weird symptoms or side effects that people didn't really tell you about or that you didn't really know about?
Teen: I don't really know if it was because of my eating disorder, but I started to get a weird heartbeat. Sometimes my heart would skip a beat, and then I was also just lightheaded all the time. So that was basically it.
Dhriti: And what were some parts of your life that were affected by your eating disorder? Did you see any changes within relationships with family or friends during this period?
Teen: Honestly, I think I was just really weird about my friendships. I feel like I would not want to be friends with me because if I would go out to eat with my friends, I would always look at the calories and everything, and then I would always talk about the nutrition of the food. So I don't really know if my friends saw any of it, but I think that if I was my friend, I wouldn't like me. Yeah.
Dhriti: Yeah, I hear that a lot, where eating disorders kind of just become your entire life and all you think about is food.
Teen: Yeah.
Dhriti: And when did you finally realize what you were experiencing was becoming a problem, if ever? Was there a defining moment you could point to?
Teen: I don't think there's really a defining moment. I think definitely when my heart started beating weird, and people would talk about how bulimia affects so many different aspects of your health. I finally kind of thought, "Okay, I don't want to get super sick because of this." So I feel like that's kind of what got it for me.
Dhriti: Mm, yeah. Okay. And did you end up reaching out for help, or was it kind of a someone-figured-it-out kind of thing?
Teen: I told my parents about it, and I was already in therapy. So that was something that I just talked about in therapy, but it wasn't new therapy. I was already in it, so it was kind of just that.
Dhriti: Okay. And did you think that therapy and talking to people helped you get out of the habits that you developed during your eating disorder?
Teen: I feel like, yeah. I think just realizing all of the bad side effects that can happen to you, I think that's kind of what helped me stop.
Dhriti: Okay. And what's something that motivated you throughout recovery? I know we've talked about the bad side effects, but were there any other motivations that made you think, "Yeah, I gotta stop this right now"?
Teen: I think when I started exercising, that was a big part of it because when I had it, I didn't exercise, and that was kind of the only thing I was doing to try to lose weight. But then when I started exercising, I would just be lightheaded. So I think that's what helped motivate me.
Dhriti: Okay. And also, did you find that your recovery was a linear pattern? Because I know other people I've talked to have definitely said that they've found themselves going back to patterns of disordered eating, but then catching themselves and continuing the recovery period.
Teen: I haven't gone back to throwing up my food or anything like that. But it's just the food noise, just thinking every time I eat. I feel like this is something I still have to work on. Every time I eat, I just feel so guilty. I feel like my relationship with food is definitely not healthy. And I still have so much of that body dysmorphia. I don't think I'll ever really see myself as being skinny enough. I think I'll always, in my mind, be like, "There's more. I can lose more weight. I can be better and skinnier." So I think that's definitely something that I have to work on.
Dhriti: Okay. And if you received professional help, what were some things that maybe helped you, and also some parts of it that you wish you had more support in or some things that you wish they did to help you?
Teen: I don't know. I feel like it was good to talk to my therapist about not even what I was doing, but how it made me feel. Because I feel like it's so psychological. It's not just physical behaviors. It's so psychological and how it makes you feel. So I think just talking about that was good. But I think, in terms of things I wish I had more support in, I don't think I ever took it that seriously. So I guess I wish I had taken it more seriously. I just wish I took it more seriously because I feel like I didn't really talk about it that much. So I feel like that's also what's contributing to how I still don't really have a relationship with food that's healthy. So I think that's definitely something that I need to work on.
Dhriti: And also, I know I was with you during some of this happening, and I feel like we definitely were kind of surrounded by people talking about, "Yeah, I didn't eat today," just normalizing disordered eating.
Teen: Yeah, and I think it was also... okay, not even being... the school we go to is just... okay, not even that it's a race thing, but Asian people are so skinny, and middle school was the first time I was surrounded by that. Everyone was just so skinny, and I was like, "Okay, I need to fit in." So I feel like that's kind of a big thing.
Dhriti: Definitely. A lot of the people I would talk to and hear during lunch were always talking about how, "Yeah, I threw away this much food today." It was just like not eating was bragged about, and I feel like that was something that kind of contributed to a lot of people that I've talked to.
Teen: Yeah, I think for sure.
Dhriti: Okay, and are there any additional comments or pieces of advice that you'd like to share?
Teen: I don't think so. I think that's kind of all. I don't really think about it that much anymore. I feel like it was a bad time in my life, so I just try to... yeah, kind of just look forward and not backward. I think that's one of the best things that people can do—just focus on the present.
Dhriti: Okay. Thank you so much.
Teen: You're welcome.
Dhriti: Thank you for listening, and this message has been brought to you by Beyond the Scale.
